Why do we want to be accepted and hate rejection so much? After all, rejection is quite logical. In most scenarios there are more people trying to achieve a goal they will not reach. For example, you might want to be a star athlete but there are only so many places on professional teams for you to obtain. Moreover, just achieving professional status, hard as that is to do, doesn’t guarantee stardom. You might want to be successful musician or a writer, or the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, but the vast majority of people seeking those positions will not achieve them.
It’s true that anyone can start a band, write a book, or form a company, but to make it a success is something else entirely. The odds are against us. Still it doesn’t hinder some of us from reaching for the stars. Hope springs eternal.
There are many who embrace the logic of rejection and don’t try to reach hugely ambitious goals, but they will face rejection from friends and potential romantic partners. Even if you don’t want to be a corporate titan, most of us are not content to remain on the same rung of the ladder forever. So even if we shy away from giant goals we can’t completely inoculate ourselves from rejection.
Are we supposed to become accustomed to not achieving our dreams, and settle for the possible – to surrender to cynicism? To sneer at those who try?
We seem destined to search for unconditional acceptance in a world where we face constant rejection.
We know we are not perfect and so we need acceptance in spite of ourselves. Close family can provide this to a certain extent, but our family members are often just as imperfect as we are.
If there were a perfect person would they be disgusted by us? Or would a perfect person be so gracious that only they could overlook our many flaws and accept us nonetheless?
If I were a truly “perfect” person I would likely console myself better that I was better than everyone else as I maintained splendid isolation.
The Bible tells of a perfect God coming to live with hugely flawed people, some of whom couldn’t stand Him so much that they wanted Him dead. But He offers acceptance – no matter what we have done. That is good news.
For some thoughts on whether we are good people click here.